Essentialism

by Theatria

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about

We broke up in 2013. This album is our way of apologizing for leaving you for so long.

credits

released March 25, 2017

All songs written by Theatria

Performed by Nico De France, Dan Barker, Chris Bonham-Carter, Brandon Vanattan and Todd Barriage

Produced by Brandon Vanattan and Todd Barriage
Additional editing by Dan Barker

Recorded, Mixed, and Mastered by Todd Barriage at Borland Studio
borlandstudio.com

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about

Theatria Toronto, Ontario

Theatria fuses elements of the early 2000s post-emo boom with energized pop melodies and some modern hardcore flare. We offer a refreshing blend of honest lyrics, well-planned harmonies, and loads of old-fashioned, solid songwriting.

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Track Name: Friends
"I'll take you anywhere," you said. "Just give me everything you are. Trust, leap, and put your faith in me. Trust me to chase your dreams." You flee, and all that's left behind are words on a screen.

But in the moment, I can't hold my tongue. "Just keep calm, this has to be done." You cut ties and vote on what's mine. Draw the line, and hang me to dry. What I take from it: To always be conscious, quick and constant. What I picked up from you was to always be cautious. Always conscience, quick, and constant.

I tried to deflect the blinding light. Turn back now, or we'll pay the price.

I dream of scenes where you see that all of your memories cling to dependencies. I've found what feels like solid ground for the first time, now that your friend in me shifts to an enemy.
Track Name: Essentialism
Turn yourself around, you're dead if you can't make it out. This is not a choice or something to be proud about. You're dead if you don't make it out, this is not by choice.

Alone in my bed, and I out of my mind? I'm making this up just one day at a time while I'm drowned by my demons. They taught me to fly, they clipped off my wings and they left me behind.

In over my head, I'm not myself when I'm with you. All I know is wrong.
In over my head, I hate myself when I'm with you. All I know is wrong.

Tell yourself a lie, and live it till you're dead inside. This is not by choice. Fucking medikill yourself. This is not a choice.

Alone in my bed, and I out of my mind? I'm making this up just one day at a time while I'm drowned by my demons. They taught me to fly, and clipped off my wings and they left me to die.

In over my head, I'm not myself when I'm with you. All I know is wrong.
In over my head, I hate myself when I'm with you. All I know is wrong.

Drug me up, turn me off. After all, you know what's best for me.
Drug me up, turn me off. You're the doctor, you'll do what's best for me.

Pump my liver full with pills of Paroxetine. Drug me up, turn me off, 'cause you're the doctor. You'll do what's best for me.
Track Name: Pristiq
I feel like I'm in love with the idea of you. We could try, and I just might, but in time I would waste my life waiting for you to stay.

I'm falling asleep and I want to remember you as you were. Frail and sinking, were we thinking anything at all? I don't want to know. I don't want to fall again. I don't wanna talk about it.

Make up your mind. I can't understand your whim. You call me up to talk about how lost you've been, can't live without me. Just in case, keep me around. I'm so sick of feeling like I'm in love with the idea of you.

I don't want to talk about this. I would waste my life waiting for you to come around.

I don't want to talk about it.
Track Name: Empty
You make the most mistakes of anyone I know; That doesn't mean you get to run away.

Of all that's done and said, the thought still lingers in your head:

"You don't deserve love, you wretch. You scum, you'll never know happiness, 'cause empty is the best you can do. You'll never feel anything. Always so desolate and empty with you."

You make the least mistakes of anyone I know, yet every chance you get to run away... every chance you get... you run away.

And even after all you've done and said, the thought still lingers in your head:

"You don't deserve life, you leech. Don't you try to find the light, 'cause nothing that you do is good enough and everything you touch just falls apart. You won't even fight, 'cause nothing that you do is good enough."

Every time you close your eyes, you hear it say, "You can't feel happiness, empty is the best you can do. You can't feel anything."

So desolate and empty with you.
Track Name: Seroquel
I'm only saying this once, and after that you're on your own.
Nobody else will stomach you once this is through.
We both know if isn't how I was. It's that you couldn't just let me go.
And maybe that's the reason you could never pick yourself up after all.

Take your own advice; Won't you realize that
Every time you come back in my life, you let me down?
It happens every time with you. Understand,
You're everything that was, and will be, wrong with me.

I can't do this anymore.

I'm only saying this once, and after that you're on your own.
You don't deserve my worst day
We both know if isn't how I was. It's that you couldn't just let me go.
You certainly don't deserve me.

I can't do this; You make me feel like I am nothing.
Though I know you don't mean to...
I can't do this. Well, honey, let me tell you something:
I'm done with you, we're through.
Track Name: Prizefight
I think out loud. It's taking all of me, now. I did my best to always make you proud, but...

Four years all seem a waste. My thoughts become so hard to face when I'm always needing space. Is it you I hate? Or is it this place?

Just keep my shit, this is so long. You did your very best to always prove me wrong. It's safe to say that I'm never sure; I did my best, but I can't love you anymore.

After all is said and done, I can wait, but I hate what you've become. I'm still me, but I hate what you've become.

I wake up every day feeling just the same. I know I've said it all before, but it was either to you or to myself 'cause I don't talk to anyone else. You put me through a living hell. You ring my bell, the gloves WILL come out.

Just keep my shit, this is so long. I did my best, but I can't love you anymore.
Track Name: Clonazepam
There's something wrong with my head, I can't forget anything and everything that you said is cycling on repeat. Somehow, I thought you knew me better than that. Thought you were better than that. You found some way to hold me down.

And every day I wake up dead inside yet full of fight; I'm sick and fading. If anything, I lack control. If anything, I'm sick of waiting.

All this time, I needed you and you were nowhere. All this time, you just held me down.

"Take it a day at a time, you live in a miserable lie," I don't know what to do, I'm looking for a sign.

"Take two of these, you'll be fine." The biggest mistake of my life was when I let you in, one pill at a time.

Prescriptions filled with false hope. I can't feel anything.

Waiting rooms and magazines, weekly diagnosis.
Who am I today? Which part of me should we erase?

Routine tearing at the seams, I'm fucked up. I know this.
Who am I again? Which part of me did we erase?

Through everything you've done for me, I want you gone. I want to be clean.
Through everything you've done for me, I want you gone.
Track Name: Dante
My God, it hurts. i'm soaking in defeat.
My pride is on the floor. "You never tell anyone,"

From empty words to water in my lungs, I've tried it all before.
It never works, any one.

My God it hurts. I'm broken in defeat.
My pride is on the floor. I'll never be anyone,

I'm pleading this to you, desperate and unsure.

How could a hell like this be called a home?
This can't be my life. This can't be my life. This can't be my life.

I'll tear myself to shreds if that's what I have to do to become whole.
How could a hell like this be called a home?
Track Name: Prodigal
I've waited so long to dream on my own,
But now that you're gone I can't cope.
"What about the drugs?"
I hope you find love in your drugs.

Sleepless and alone,
Afraid that I've been good for nothing,
I'll make this mess my home.

I'll break until there's nothing here.
I'll wreck myself till I can't feel a thing.

"What about the drugs?"
What about the way things were?
"What about the love?"
I hope you find what you were looking for.

Sleepless and alone,
Afraid that I've been good for nothing,
I'm helpless on my own.

Faceless and unknown,
Afraid that I've been good for nothing,
I'll make this mess my home.

Good for nothing, waste of skin,
You good for nothing fucking piece of shit.
Track Name: Ruby
Breathe me in
I'll tear my skin until I see the crimson line, devoid of life.
Breathe me out

You saw straight through me when no one else could; my fragile frame.
I couldn't be the better me, or better anyone. I'll never be.

From flame to ember
I'm growing weak
I'm sick of holding on
I'm never what I seem
I can't remember what I'm meant to be

Now I'm fading into a vision of the past
A glass figure breaking in two

You saw straight through me when no one else could; my fragile frame.
I couldn't be the better me, or better anyone. I'll never be.
Track Name: Transience
Take what you want, I'll be anything you want me to be.
And now that you're gone, you'll take everything that made me...

I'm nothing.
"You're nothing."
I'm nothing.
At least that what you had me believe.
"You're nothing."
I'm nothing...
I'm nothing.

Take what you want, I'll be anything you want me to be.
And now that you're gone, you'll take everything that made me...

You always said you'd understand.
"You've tried it all and nothing helps you"

I've always said I'm better dead.
I've tried it all and nothing helps

"I'm giving out
I've tried it all and nothing helps at all
I'm giving up on you
Fuck it all and everything you are"

I'll make myself a new name
"Make yourself a new name"

I'm giving up on you
Fuck it all and everything you are